1.
There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Just pray
that it isnt a train.
2.
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of your
fellow man
3.
There is not much to choose between a woman who
deceives us for another, and a woman who deceives another for ourselves.
4.
There may be some doubt as to who are the best people
to have in charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the
worst
5.
There's always something about your success that
displeases even your best friends
6.
There's an old proverb that says just about whatever
you want it to.
7.
Things are only impossible until they're not.
8.
Those who drink to drown their sorrows should be told
that sorrows know how to swim
9.
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good
is nobler- and less trouble
10. Truth
is stranger than fiction; fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities, truth
isn't
11. Under
capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
12. Unless
you can question your own beliefs, you have no place questioning the beliefs of
others.
13. Warning:
Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
14. We
have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
15. What
is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
16. In
the first place God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school
boards
17. Incoming
fire has the right of way.
18. It
is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your
help.
19. It
would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
20. It's
better to be looked over, than overlooked
21. It's
not the people who are in prison that worry me. It's the people who aren't.
22. Make
it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
23. Men
are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
24. Most
of our lives are about proving something, either to ourselves or to someone
else.
25. My
opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
26. Friends
may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
27. Friends,
n.: People who borrow your books and set wet glasses on them. People who know
you well, but like you anyway.
28. Genius
may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
29. Give
the gift of love, and people think you're cheap. Give them a cheap bit of crap,
and they love you for it. Go figure.
30. God
Bless America, where laws are passed to protect people from the legal system.
31. Hard
work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
32. Hoare's
Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling
to get out.
33. If
you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you
will get out of it.
34. If
you cannot convince them, confuse them.
35. If
you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
36. If
you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
37. Always
keep a record of data - it indicates you've been working.
38. Always
remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
39. Amateurs
built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
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