Sunday, November 13, 2011

Hilarious One-Liner Quotes


1.       A good pun is its own reword.
2.       Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor?
3.       Wear short sleeves; support your right to bare arms!
4.       For sale: parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain.
5.       A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
6.       Jesus loves you, it's everybody else that thinks you're an ass.
7.       It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
8.       Welcome to Utah: set your watch back 20 years.
9.       Don't get married, find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It's a lot easier on you.
10.   Be nice to your kids: they'll choose your nursing home.
11.   I love cats; they taste just like chicken.
12.   Lord save me from your followers.
13.   Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
14.   I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
15.   Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
16.   Have you seen Quasimodo? I have a hunch he's back!
17.   Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
18.   Honk if you love peace and quiet.
19.   How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
20.   Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.

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